Recap: The Walking Dead Season 2, Episode 6: “Secrets”

Previously: Glenn and Maggie got naked. Shane and Andrea cleaned guns. Lori got Glenn to fetch a pregnancy test. It was positive! Andrea grazed Daryl with a bullet thinking he was dead. Glenn found the zombies in the barn.

Lori and Carl feeding chicken. Let’s take a moment here to acknowledge that this show has the same problem that Lost did after its first season — the inexorable aging of child actors. Chandler Riggs has grown a lot in the time elapsed since last season, which in the show is a matter of weeks but in the real world is about a year and a half. Lost had a similarly slow in-universe passage of time, and it had two child characters — preteen Walt and baby Aaron. You can always recast a baby (or a Bobby Draper), but a preteen main character is a little trickier. Lost solved this problem by writing Walt and his dad off the show for all intents and purposes. Given that [Highlight for comics spoilers] [[Carl is still alive as of issue 89 in the book]], I would be pretty surprised if they offed Carl any time soon.

Anyway. Chickens. Carl tells his mom not to worry so much. She says that’s her job, and he retorts that it’s not, she’s a housewife. Ugh, what a bozo kid. Lori points out that she can’t really be a housewife ’cause she doesn’t have a house. TOUCHÉ, little punk (her word). I’m really having trouble understanding Chandler Riggs’s dialogue. Did the bullet wound cause a speech impediment? He mumbles something about a mother — I think he’s referring to the mother of the chickens they are feeding. Then he remarks that maybe the mother chicken got eaten, and this causes Lori to look STRICKEN.

Wife of Otis (was she given a name? I’ll go look that up), meanwhile, is puttering around in the chicken shed. Pushing aside mean-looking hanging metal things, she takes a chicken literally to the chopping block. But she doesn’t chop its head; she breaks its legs and puts it into a sack. Oh. I think I know where this is going. She wheelbarrows sack to the barn, as a horse gallops across her path.

Barn zombies. Wife of Otis is up in the loft, and empties the contents of the sack (three or so still-live chickens) to the waiting jaws of the zombies below. Ugh, I am unreasonably annoyed by this. You know who could be eating these chickens? PEOPLE WHO AREN’T DEAD.

Bear McCreary’s Strings of Dread and Decay. Credits.

Binocular view of the barn. It’s Glenn, creeping again. Maggie comes up and scolds him for being “obvious,” then gives him a bucket of peaches. Glenn accuses her of “buying [his] silence with fruit.” Maggie says no, ’cause there’s also jerky in that basket. Glenn says he’s a bad liar (he can’t even play poker!), but Maggie insists he keeps the barn zombie secret to himself.

Glenn brings the peaches to Dale and T-Dawg at the RV. When T-Dawg offers a bleary-eyed “What’s up?” by way of greying, Glenn is hilariously hand-tipping as he insists that NOTHING is up. Nothing at ALL.

Daryl is convalescing in a tent (I guess only kids get to convalesce in the house, which given Hershel’s weirdness, is not inconsistent). Andrea comes in to bring him a book to read, and reiterates her guilt for having shot him. Daryl doesn’t have a problem with Andrea, though, because she was only trying to protect the group. As she leaves he teases her with, “If you shoot me again, you best pray I’m dead.”

Glenn is getting up in Lori’s business. Why? Seriously, wouldn’t the instinct of most early-20s males be to completely ignore this situation if they were even privy to it? But no. Glenn wants Lori to tell Rick. He also wants Lori to have vitamins and a nice pillow (his words). And his share of the jerky. Because she’s skinny and pregnant! To be fair, she does need to eat, because that fetus will suck all the nutrients out of her body whether Lori’s eating enough food or not. Glenn is really pushing it with talk of how someone needs to “take care” of Lori and that she has “a medical condition.” He offers to make a run to town, but Lori shuts him down and tells him to keep quiet. (This episode is called “Secrets,” GET IT?) Glenn and his peaches are summoned to the Search for Sophia.

Rick, Shane, and Jimmy are discussing the day’s search plan over the Truck Hood of Decision Making. Jimmy says there’s a housing development nearby, maybe Sophia went there? Sure, it’s a good a guess as any of the guesses they’ve been making for like five episodes. Rick says that after gun practice, Shane and a buddy can go out. (After what happened to Daryl, it’s buddy system all the way, now.) But, Shane asks, who will be his partner? Rick offers him the pick of the gun practice. How generous. Glenn arrives with his peaches. The guys chow down and Glenn clearly wants to tell Rick about Lori. Lori watches from afar to make sure he doesn’t. Shane asks for his binoculars back. Wife of Otis and Daughter of Otis (I think?) want to join in on gun practice. Rick says Hershel is not cool with that, but the ladies say he “consented” because Otis was the only one who knew guns and he’s gone now so they have to protect themselves. Rick learned his lesson with Jimmy, and says he’s not going to take their word for it.

Shane notices Carl hanging out by the RV. Carl asks Shane to teach him to shoot. Shane says that’s a parental decision. Shane may not be good for much in my books, but he is good for being able to tell when a kid is carrying a pistol he’s not supposed to have. So, at Shane’s asking, Carl shows the gun in his waistband. Shane is not happy, and neither is Lori when she finds out seconds later. Dale takes the blame for letting Carl into the RV to get a walkie. Long scene short: Rick thinks Carl can have a gun to protect himself. Lori does not agree. It turns out Shane is an accomplished child gun instructor. Lori capitulates. Carl gets a gun. This development happened much earlier in the comics and given how old Chandler Riggs looks, it’s not as shocking as it might’ve been.

Everyone packs into vehicles up to go have gun practice, and Glenn makes excuses to get out of it and hang out with Dale. Dale reads between the lines and asks Glenn what’s up. Steven Yueng is super adorable, have I mentioned that? He indicates awkwardly that he needs the benefit of Dale’s aged wisdom and at Dale’s urging he spits it out: “There’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant.” Best scene out of the season.

Wine bottles lined up along the fence for target practice. They all appear to have a few fingers of liquid in the bottom. I hope that’s water and not wine. First the wasting of chickens and now the wasting of alcohol? What is wrong with these people? Shane and Rick survey their students. Jimmy is actually doing the sideways-gangster pistol hold and not only that, T-Dawg actually has to call him on it. Shane reassures Andrea (looking very Annie Oakley in her straw cowboy hat) that she’ll hit her target eventually. Andrea points out that she did hit her target: three bullet holes perfectly within the “O” of the “NO TRESPASSING” sign beyond the fence. Shane binoculars to confirm. The cops are impressed. Shane gives her a heavier gun. Again, her aim is true. Rick says Shane should give Andrea extra advanced training after. After Rick saunters off, Andrea brings up the thing about Shane wanting to leave the group, neglecting to mention that she also wanted to leave the group. “Something change your mind?” she asks. Cut to Carl.

In the stables, Dale checks up on Hershel tending to Nervous Nellie, who has returned home after spooking and tossing Daryl last week. Dale casually praises Hershel’s beautiful fields, and says he took a walk out to the barn (DUN DUN). He says he heard the telltale zombie sounds. Hershel says that before broadcasting ceased, he saw the “atrocities” committed, like the one at his well two episodes back. We learn that Hershel believes zombies are still people, and that he believes this because his wife and stepson are in that barn. In his gentle way, Dale points out that that walkers are deadly and dangerous; Hershel rebuts that so are paranoid schizophrenics, but we don’t put them down. Not usually, anyway. Dale offers to talk to Rick and help secure the barn and make the situation safer. Hershel says that Rick may be “a man of conscience,” but not everyone else is.

Lori chats with Hershel over a barbed-wire fence in the field. She thanks him for his hospitality, and says that they’ll earn their keep in return. Oh, but you won’t be staying long, says Hershel. You’re moving on to Fort Benning, right? This is news to Lori.

Andrea is practicing shooting at a log swinging from a rope. She is missing, and Shane is encouraging her, saying that she hit a bullseye at 25 feet earlier. That bullseye wasn’t moving, Andrea replies. Ah, but zombies don’t really stand still, Shane says, and sets the log on another swing. Shane sets in on giving Andrea the drill sergeant treatment, yelling about shutting down your emotions and your fear and getting the job done and all the stuff he said to her a few episodes back, culminating in a reference to her dead sister Amy. You know, it really chaps me when people use the Drill Sargent approach to motivation without bothering to learn first if a given individual actually responds to that. Because unless you are actually a boot camp, the Drill Sargent approach is not usually the best motivational technique for humans. I’ve had the Drill Sargent approach (and its variation, the Jillian Michaels approach) used on me and I hated it. Andrea is not really responding to it here, either. Ideally, she would’ve vented her frustration by shooting shane, but instead she stalks off.

Lori confronts Rick about her newfound knowledge of Hershel’s eviction plan. No one else knows. Like father like son: Rick tells her not to worry. Rick says Hershel is flexible. Lori says that is not the impression she got. Lori wants to talk to Hershel; Rick wants to give him space. Rick is not happy that Lori is not unquestioningly following his will. Lori doesn’t like that Rick kept something from her. Rick says if they do have to leave, he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her and Carl safe, blah blah.

Andrea’s stomping down the road when Shane comes along in the car. He asks her to get in; she declines. He apologizes for bringing up her dead sister Amy in his Drill Sargent routine. She calls him a dick and he does not reject that designation. He asks her to be his backup as he checks out a lead on Sophia.

Dale is frying what looks like Spam at the campsite. Lori practically runs away from the smell of the cooking meat. Dale notices. He opens the grandfatherly lines of communication with the story of the one and only time his late wife was pregnant (she miscarried). She couldn’t handle the smell of cooking meat then, either. Dale’s personal story has the desired effect and softens any irritation Lori feels, but she does realize that Glenn told Dale. Dale says, “What do you expect? He has no guile.” Lori reveals she hasn’t told Rick about the pregnancy. “Because of Shane?” Dale asks. Oh, now this is a fact I wanted to know. Who else knew about the Shane/Lori trysts? Because someone had to. And it turns out that Dale only guessed and is now having his suspicions confirmed. But it doesn’t matter anyway, because Lori is for some reason certain that Rick is the father. Wait, really? You’re just going to toss out all that juicy paternity drama? I can picture a writers’ room discussion where they argue that pushing the paternity angle makes it too soapy. And that’s a fair take, I guess. But I’ll just say I think I prefer the way the Lori/Rick/Shane stuff was handled in the comic. Regardless, Lori “hates [her]self” for sleeping with Shane. And she doesn’t want to bring a child into the joyless postapocalypse. Dale tries to convince her otherwise.

Lori finds Glenn and lets him off the hook for telling. But she does want to take him up on his earlier offer to run to town. He’s rewarded with a big, rather desperate hug, from Lori.

Glenn and Maggie are on horseback heading to the road. Glenn is trying to get Maggie to speak to him, and insists she didn’t have to make the risky trip away from the farm. Cut to later when they’re ambling into town, and she finally speaks up. She’s mad at Glenn for betraying her trust. Glenn asks her if she agrees with her dad’s belief that the zombies aren’t dead but sick, even after she saw the maggot-infested corpse they pulled out (well, pulled mostly out) of the well. Glenn says if Maggie had been in Atlanta she “would not have a barn full of walkers.” Maggie wants him to stop calling them “walkers” (can’t imagine how she’d object if he called them, say, “zombies”!) Given how neutral and innocuous the term “walkers” is, Glenn asks her, “What do you call them?” She replies, “Mom. Shawn. Mr and Mrs Fisher. Lacey. Duncan.”

Once again, Glenn is looking for a mystery supply at the pharmacy, but this time he enlists Maggie’s help, showing her the written note. “You have got to be kidding me,” she says. So, clearly they’re looking for something that’s will go towards ending Lori’s pregnancy. RU486? Maggie heads to the back, behind the pharmacy counter, and starts looking at bottles. Glenn is picking up other stuff in the front of the store. And then: ZOMBIE! It grabs Maggie’s hand through the shelf, and Glenn springs into action, grabbing a metal shelf to use as a weapon, which partially decapitates the walker. Keyword: partially. Because as Glenn hugs a sobbing Maggie, the nearly-headless zombie rises to its feet. Glenn pulls a small axe from his belt and goes overkill destroying the zombie’s brain. Maggie hugs him again.

Andrea and Shane drive into the remains of a once-idyllic housing development. It’s empty. “We’re gonna have to go ass-to-ass,” Shane says, as they walk down the street. That’s worth a snerk. But just one, because it’s Shane. Andrea remarks that if Sophia got this far, she has a real shot.

Maggie storms into the camp with Glenn on her heels. “Hey! We got your stuff!” she hollers at Lori, throwing the bag of “abortion pills” at her. Maggie says that the next time Lori wants something, she should go get it herself, because she and Glenn are not her “errand boys.” Glenn wordlessly goes after Maggie.

Glenn catches up with Maggie near a fence and some trees, as the sun starts to set. He tries to take the blame for Maggie almost getting killed by a zombie, because it was his idea to go into town and he shouldn’t have let Maggie come with. He’s confused when Maggie says that he’s pretty stupid for a smart guy. She kisses him. She says she’s already lost the people she loved the most. “You’re smart. You’re brave. You’re a leader. But you don’t know it and your friends don’t wanna know it. They’d rather have you fetching peaches. There’s a dead guy in the well? Send Glenn down.” Maggie, now I want to kiss you. If we were to tally up all the things Rick and Glenn have actually done to help and/or save people so far in the series, I’m pretty sure Glenn’s column would be at least three times as long. Maggie continues. “You’re walker bait. I can’t take you becoming one of them.” I’m sure a lot of viewers see Maggie’s erratic ups-and-downs as poor writing, but Maggie is, at this point, far from the most poorly written character on the show. The way I see it, she’s a young woman with her dead mother and brother down the hill in a barn, and that explains a lot of wack behaviour. Sidebar: I’ve stopped seeing the ill-fated Bela from the abysmal third season of Supernatural whenever I look at Lauren Cohan — a major relief, because Maggie is one of my favourites from the comic.

Shane and Andrea are scoping out houses. Andrea calls for Sophia; Shane shushes her. They don’t find Sophia, but they do find a living room full of corpses and a garage filled with burnt skeletons. “She was never here, was she?” Andrea asks. You think? And does Shane have other reasons for bringing Andrea here to what is sure to be a zombie trap? And hey, look, there are the zombies. Shane tells Andrea to cover the oncoming streets while he clears the walkers from their car. Andrea struggles with her gun, having to reload. A businessman zombie approaches her, gaining speed, and Shane’s standing right next to her. Andrea realizes that Shane wants her to do the deed, and she does. This gives her the confidence she needs to land three more shots.

At her tent, Lori asks Glen about the blood on Maggie’s shirt. He tells her about the attack, and Lori apologizes, saying she shouldn’t have sent him. Glenn reminds that he’s the one who offered. Lori says she thought the town was safe, and what if they didn’t come back? Glenn says he always does come back. Glenn asks if the “Morning After Pills” will even work. EXCELLENT QUESTION, GLENN! Let’s go over some emergency contraception facts, shall we?

The “morning after pill,” more correctly referred to as “emergency contraceptive pills” (ECP) do not terminate a pregnancy — they prevent one. Pregnancy does not occur the moment a male ejaculates into a female. The sperm has to travel up through the cervix, uterus and into the fallopian tube to find an egg to fertilize. This means there’s a window between sex and pregnancy, during which a female can take ECP to either prevent her ovaries from releasing an egg, prevent sperm from fertilizing her egg, or prevent the fertilized egg from implanting in her uterus (the scientific definition of the beginning of pregnancy). According to the manufacturers of Plan B, a brand of ECP, “If you are already pregnant and take Plan B, there’s no evidence that Plan B will harm you or your fetus.” The actual “abortion pill” is known as RU486 (generic: mifepristone). This drug blocks progesterone, which is a hormone required for pregnancy. A day later, a pregnant person has to take an additional drug that causes uterine contractions to expel the embryo in the uterus. That would be the course of treatment Lori would need. The “morning after pills” wouldn’t do anything.

And for the story, does it matter if the pills would work or not? No. Because the drama here is about Lori choosing to either try to end her pregnancy or to try continue it. But I’m annoyed because there is a LOT of misinformation about contraception in popular media, and it bugs to see more of it. /End sermon

Back to the tent with Lori and Glenn. Turns out Glenn fully supports Lori’s choosing her choice but he brought her a present. Prenatal vitamins. Which is actually a really useful gift for a woman in the postapocalypse, because as I said before, that fetus will suck everything out of her bones by the time it’s born if she’s malnourished. Glenn asks if they’re friends. Once you’ve bought someone a pregnancy test, I think it’s safe to say there’s a level of intimacy there, and Lori concurs. Glen reiterates that he is very glad he doesn’t have to make her choice, but that maybe she doesn’t have to make the choice alone.

Andrea is riding shotgun as Shane drives them back from Zombie Acres. She’s feeling pretty good. She looks over a Shane, then feels the bulge in his pants. Oh, ew. He pulls over, says, “C’mon then,” and she climbs into his lap. Andrea, no. No no no. Gross. Just yuck. This is the one time I’m grateful for AMC’s prudishness when it comes to sex scenes because it means this one is nonexistent, but I still need the brain bleach.

Lori is panicking in her tent. She pops the pills out of their blister packs and swallows them. Then she starts to panic even more. She runs to a safe barfing spot and sticks her fingers down her throat.

Shane and Andrea (the frequency with which I’ve had to type their names together this week might leave you wondering if I will invent a cute portmanteau for their names. The answer to that question is no. I will not, because I am counting down the episodes until Shane’s inevitable betrayal-induced death. So say we all.) Andrea gives the nil report to Carol. Dale asks what happened. “The place was overrun,” Shane says. Dale is not impressed, and is giving Shane major side-eye. I confess I was surprised by what Dale does next: he reminds Shane of Shane’s earlier plan to get out of dodge and suggests he follow through on that plan. Shane wants to know if this is about Andrea; Dale says he’s looking out for the group. Shane tries to list his credentials as a protector; Dale brings up Otis. Dale says Shane’s been “vague” about Otis’s death. Dale wasn’t there for that, but he was there when he saw Shane put Rick in his gun sight. “I know what kind of man you are,” Dale says. Shane does not deal with this confrontation well, saying that if he (Shane) would kill his BFF Rick, what would he do to Dale, whom he doesn’t even like? Good point. Watch your back, Dale. There are still seven episodes left in the season, and I’m betting Shane doesn’t bite it ’til at least episode eleven.

Rick returns to his family tent and finds the empty pill packs. You can see the gears turning as he puts it together. It takes longer than you’d expect.

Rick finds Lori out by the barbed wire fence, pill packs in hand. Rick is not satisfied that Lori threw up the (non-effective, may I remind you) pills. Rick puts together that Glenn must know about the pregnancy, which makes him feel more left out. Rick clearly wants the baby; Lori is ambivalent, currently on the side of not giving birth in a ditch. Rick says he wouldn’t make Lori have a baby she doesn’t want; Lori didn’t tell him because she wanted the abortion to be on her conscience alone. Rick says  they need to stop keeping things from each other (true) and asks if there’s anything else Lori needs to tell him. I’m surprised for the second time, because she reveals that she and Shane were a thing. And Rick takes it…well! He says, “Of course you did. The world went to shit, you thought I was dead.” That is indeed what happened, and Lori is overcome by Rick’s understanding. There might be hope for these crazy kids after all.